the Rizal effect

im just 21 years old, a college student, and i recently had my internship in Malacañang. Luckily, i was part of a policy group (i wont mention it to be safe..hehe), and was protected (by our boss) from corruption, the corrupt, and the Dirty Old Men. :)

during my internship, i, with my boss, tackled the lack of participation of the youth in society. To be specific, i was ratning about the lack of concern, and love for the country we have. In fact, I met some dear foreigners who seem to have more concern to the current state of the country than my own classmates, even me.

my boss asked me to produce a policy paper on any topic i wanted to, and i wanted to write something about the youth and their detachment, if that is the right word, from our nation. sadly, as much as i wanted to, that paper was never written. not just because of lack of time (i was under time pressure and my resources were limited), but because i was saddened by what i saw during my research. our government does not have much programs for youth involvement, and even if they had, it was more on aid. I checked the education departments and so far, i have seen little effort in teaching us of nationalism.

i shared my frustrations with my boss, and he happened to have thought of that issue. Sadly, the government doesnt have much funding for programs like that, and relies mostly on NGO's to help on that part. but that is not enough.

I am young still, and i know i have a lot to learn. But i find it disappointing that most people my age dont show concern for our country. it is easy to blame capitalism or whatever. We would rather be seen with our i-pod's than a history book. we would rather be out having our frappuccino's at starbucks than attend our philippines government and constitution or rizal class. it is not cool for us to like history. I remember being laughed at when i said that i was willing to defend the relevance of studying Rizal.

I always remember what my professor, Mr. Ronaldo de Jesus said to us about Rizal and his relevance. he said that until we all learn from our past. until we have realized what should be done and do something to improve our country, Rizal will always be relevant.

but how do we get the youth to learn to love our country? one, of course, would be through our educational system. two, the government must be strong-willed in promoting nationalism. third, our parents must guide us. More importantly, society itself must show us that our country is worth respect and love. our generation has become jaded. most think that people who had the sense of nationalism Rizal had dont exist anymore. most people think that our country offers us little opportunity. most are ignorant because they dont see the point in nationalism and social relevance.

this is just the view of a 21 year old. i believe that the youth, if properly educated, can turn things around, even a bit.

the question is, how?

when what's real really isn't

I asked for assurance, wholeheartedly trusted, sadly all I got was disappointment. it took a long time before i figured it out that i was lied to. Of course, when we are in love we dont question things, we just accept. and i do plead guilty to that. but now that i'm in a different state of mind (still sane i hope), i finally put the pices of the puzzle together and saw that the puzzle didnt look at all like the picture that i had in mind. the picture that was painted for me by someone i had trusted with all my heart. The picture i just saw was the ugliest ive ever seen, yet i feelings i had at that moment was uglier, as i realized that i was stupid enough to believe everything.

Yes, it hurts. not becasue i havent moved on, but it is that reason itself that i feel like s*!^. I recovered based on what i knew, and accepted things for what they were. I've learned to forgive; sadly, i never forget. It really is such a small world for our lies to survive. eventually, the truth will come out and kick you in the forehead. In my case, it took half a year. Not bad. I actually held this person in higher regard for telling me the "truth". But after uncovering all these things, i realized that that was the coldest lie ever said to me. it was then that i had to realize the hard way that the nicest person is the most heartless liar.